Tuesday, May 12, 2015

25 Things You Didn't Know About Me

Confession time... Just a warning, shit gets real. This is very personal stuff.

Gif from Tumblr.
1. I picked out the pen name Aurora Knightsblood back in high school. Aurora is for Sleeping Beauty, my favorite Disney Princess. Knightsblood is to sound pretentiously gothic.

2. My obsession with pumpkin spice everything started a few years ago, the first time I ever carved up a pumpkin, roasted it with sage, and mixed it with goat cheese, rigatoni, and a sprinkle of nutmeg for an amazing pasta. Eye-opening.

3. I have an army of stuffed animals on my bed, all named after male fictional characters. The hammerhead shark is Edgar, the titular character of Bat Boy: The Musical. The flying fox (a kind of bat) is Edward, after both the Twilight character and Edward Scissorhands. The ray shark is Damon, from The Vampire Diaries. The harbor seal is Adrian, my favorite character from Vampire Academy and its sequel series Bloodlines. The bat-shaped pillow is Gabriel, the Wicked Lovely series character, and there's a tiny little bat that hangs from my bedside lamp named Castiel, from Supernatural. Obvs.

4. Bats and sharks are my absolute favorite animals.

5. For a long time as a kid, I wanted to be a marine biologist or ichthyologist specializing in studying sharks.

6. After that, I decided I wanted to be a Dominican nun before realizing my dream of becoming a writer. Somewhere in that period I wanted to become a Nancy Drew-esque private investigator at the same time. Not sure how that would have worked.

7. I've kept diaries on and off for many years, but starting in eighth grade my diary entries always began with "Dear Elbereth." From 2010 onwards they've begun with "Motivation."

8. There was a period of several years where my family believed I had no personality outside my love for everything Tolkien. Today, though, people act shocked when I spout out quotes, information, and obscure details from Tolkien's unfinished and posthumously collected works. Not sure why it's surprising.

9. I even taught online Elvish lessons for a bit. I was terrible at it, but that's how I spent Friday nights alone at the computer the summer between eighth grade and high school.

10. I fully believe that Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory is better socially adjusted than I am.

11. As is Dexter (from Dexter), since he at least is capable of faking social adjustment.

12. I believed Dexter had the worst possible ending for a great show in the history of television-- until the How I Met Your Mother finale.

13. I will forever be devastated about Barney and Robin breaking up on How I Met Your Mother.

14. About as devastated as I am about Rufus and Lily's break up on Gossip Girl.

15. Shipping is very important to me. While writing my current book I've already come up with ship names for characters, including non-canon ships that will never happen.

16. I am obsessed with shipping these two male characters from a story my best friend and I write together. Seriously, obsessed to the point where the only sex dream I've ever had has been these two characters. I've never told my best friend that detail; if she's reading this, this is the first she's heard of it. I didn't want to weird her out. You're weirded out, aren't you?

Except in this dream, both men had lady-parts, probably because penises disgust me to no end. That probably weirds everyone out... But on the other hand, I see it as affirmation that even though I can really, really get into slash ships, I'm still a lesbian and am only turned on by girls.

OK, OK, that's a lie: I've had two dreams, and the other one was Destiel. Well, Destielle. TMI, I get it. Hey, I never said this blog wasn't NSFW.

17. When I was in middle school and high school, I used to talk all the time about how certain male characters in movies and books were hot. This was really because I liked the characters and thought that girls were supposed to say that guys were hot. I was a very messed up kid.

18. I honestly regret coming out to my family... It would have been way easier to stay in the closet.

I'm going to change topics now. This is difficult to talk about. Write about. Whatever. I'm changing gears to something much more positive.

19. My favorite color is grey. The reason I always use the archaic spelling with an e is because of Tolkien.

20. I love comic books, but for DC comic books, I honestly don't care about the main DC universe -- only the Vertigo universe and the DCAU and other DC TV shows, like Arrow and Constantine.

21. Despite the fact that grungy liner, rock chick smokey eyes, skulls, studs, spikes, faux leather, boots, crosses, black, and such are staples in my wardrobe and despite the fact that I am pale and own four black lipsticks (yes, four), many people react with shock and disbelief that I identify myself as Goth. Why is this so difficult to get? Just because I don't dye my hair black and dress full-on Elvira and act like a walking stereotype does not negate me from the subculture. Seriously.

22. Everywhere I go, the only thing people ever say about me is that I have long hair, and while it is very long indeed, I've become quite sick of people touching it, pulling it, asking if I'm planning to donate it, or telling me they want to lick it. I wish I were making that last bit up, but unfortunately I'm not. That was the same creepy old Korean customer at work who told me that because my hair is the perfect hair, only my future husband will be allowed to hit me and get away with it. Yeah, he told me that. WTF.

23. The only parts of my body that I don't hate are my hair, my eyes, my lower lip, and my boobs. Everything else, from my gigantic stomach to my enormous thighs to my face shape even to the sound of my voice, I can't stand.

24. After working at a call center for so long until I quit December 2013, I have a difficult time talking on the phone. I've even had panic attacks trying to dial a number, as opposed to how my work in retail has affected me: now whenever, wherever I shop, I have to fight the urge to organize the aisles and put misplaced items back in their correct spots.

Seriously, there's a special level of Hell for people who abandon items in random aisles, and there's an even worse circle of Hell for people who don't put shopping carts or baskets away properly.

25. I had originally planned to write the Gossip Ghoul blog through the voice of a character with a fabulous life. I abandoned that idea once I started drafting posts and wrote in my own voice instead. Hell of a lot easier, but I'm not convinced it's done me any favors.

There you are: 25+ secrets about me. Want to share a secret about yourself? Tell me in the comments or tweet me @ak_gossipghoul.

Gif from Tumblr.

XOXO
Gossip Ghoul.

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