For The Record

There are two things I should make note of, and they are as follows:

1. The majority of announcements, news, updates, important messages I make will be posted on my Twitter account (@ak_gossipghoul), and all of my tweets are automatically forwarded to my Facebook page. In other words, that's the place to check for any important news from me, as well as comments on shoes or complaints about my laptop.
2. Secondly, never combine practically chugging a venti caramel latte with Dayquil. That much espresso plus the cold/flu drugs (yes, I have been on this flu for more than three weeks now) is not a good mix. It feels super weird, makes blood vessels in my temples and forehead throb, and is not very productive.

So that's my day. Well, that and tons and tons of snow. Seriously, it does not feel like spring. The good thing about the snow, though, is that it means I can wear my fabulous cloche hats and snakeskin print scarves longer. Yay!

XOXO
Gossip Ghoul.

Run Fast As You Can

This post was suggested by my best friend, whom I refer to as Iris. She's trying to train for a half-marathon in a couple of months and told me she needs an extra push to motivate her to run every day. If I post it here, it'll be out there online, and then she'll just have to do it. Or so she insisted. So here is your motivation, dear:

Run.
Run like velociraptors are chasing you.
Run away as if Russell Crowe is behind you trying to sing and slaughter our favorite Les Mis character.
Run like you're running away from Team Gale.
Run as if they recast Kristen Stewart as Katniss.
Run as if they recast Russell Crowe as Haymitch. With musical sequences. Or, even more horrifying, as Christian Grey with musical sequences.
Run as if you're running to sale at Sephora.
Run as if Tim Gunn were waiting for you when you finish.
Run as though Morgan Freeman were narrating your race with a commentary.
Run as if Hank and John Green asked you to.
Run as if there were a wine-tasting at the end.
Run, and I'll try to write more Nyquil-induced poetry for you. Or maybe Patron-induced?
Run because then we get a weekend together.

Motivation enough? Don't hate me for the Russell Crowe jokes; I know it's pouring salt in a festering wound. Just try to keep running and training every day.

XOXO
Gossip Ghoul.

Writer's Block

So things have been difficult lately. It certainly isn't the first time I've had writer's block, and I don't think I will ever get over how miserable it is to stare at a blank piece of paper and not be able to come up with a single sentence. When one has pinned all of one's future and hopes on words, having a blank mind is truly terrible.

The thing is that I have a long list of topics I want to write about in this blog, but I want those posts to be thoughtful and well written, not filler when I can think of not a single thing to say. A friend whom I shall refer to as Jen suggested that I write about not being able to write. I balked at first, yet here I am writing about the emptiness that is my mind at present.

Also, I'm on an odd combination of Dayquil and espresso as I write this, and my head feels weird because of it. That's just today, though. The excuse for the past few day's is writer's block. The only cure for writer's block is to become inspired. Currently in my jobs there is nothing to inspire me. My new Cosmo should be arriving any day now. Hopefully that will spark something, or maybe the new Oz movie this weekend will, although I seriously hope I'll be able to come up with something to write about before then.

XOXO
Gossip Ghoul.

Lyrical Genius

My sister and I have this pact to start making more of an effort with our lives. We're trying to do things together on Friday and Saturday nights, our only free times. This just makes me think of that Will and Grace episode where Will says, "But we don't do things." Yeah, but we're trying to.

Since I'm usually exhausted, freezing, and starving after I get off my super-long Friday shift, we've been going out to get hot food Friday nights. Of course, since this is Lent, we're limited as to where we can go, for Catholics aren't allowed to eat meat on Fridays in Lent. One time we went to the Irish pub and got hot toddies and fish and chips (so delicious! Hot Irish whiskey with honey and cloves is a wonderful, wonderful thing!). This past Friday, we went to a pizza place I'd never been to before, since it's on the opposite side of town from where I live.

"It's a nice family place," my sister told me, "and sometimes they have live band performances."

So we go, since greasy veggie pizza sounds life-affirmingly appetizing when one has not eaten in nearly twelve hours. When we arrived, we immediately felt out of place. There was a performance going on, and the restaurant was filled with hipsters come to see it. In our sweats, my sister and I didn't really fit in.

We tried our best to ignore the very loud hubbub around us as we debated whether or not to get a pizza that included artichoke hearts, so the only phrase I heard from the girl on stage was "fucking chihuahuas." I cracked up because I had no idea what the context of that was. I still have no clue.

Then, most unfortunately, the night's main band start playing. Now these guys were not just an amateur hipster band who had never before performed in front of people. They were a hipster country band without any smidgen of musical talent. Each of their songs started exactly the same, and they sang in a terrible, fake Southern twang. Their lyrics were atrocious, to say the least, and included the following: "we'll all get high, and we'll all go to jail," "we'll go to Chicago, and we'll all go to jail," "you smell like raw sewage," "I want to drink a whole bottle of whiskey," and "we tried to shit, but we could only fart." It was very painful to hear. Prevalent themes included getting high, masturbation, and prison, so I muttered snarkily under my breath, "Clearly their inspiration for their lyrics is taken from daily life."

By the sixth song, I could not handle it any longer, and I yelled at my sister to pound her beer so that we could escape. On the bright side, the pizza was quite delicious, but I won't be going there again unless I know in advance there are no hipster stoner country bands playing to ravage my ears.

Here's hoping for a better Friday experience.

XOXO
Gossip Ghoul.

What The...

What the hell did I write this morning?! I seriously need to get over this flu like now.

XOXO
Gossip Ghoul.

An Ode To Nyquil

Nyquil Is...

Nyquil is when you wake up in the morning and can't remember what day it is.
Nyquil is when you stare at the shower head because you're too tired to remember how to turn it on.
Nyquil is when you lather up your acne cleanser and then put it in your hair.
Nyquil is when you feel so drowsy that coffee can't wake you up.
Nyquil is when you stock two entire cases of soy sauce bottles and then realize you marked them all at the wrong price.
Nyquil is when you start spouting bizarre poetry because it's all you can think about as you try to figure out how to survive another day on Nyquil.

So that's how my life is right now. How are things with you?

XOXO
Gossip Ghoul,

And The Winner Is...

It's the morning after the Academy Awards, so while I eat breakfast and prepare for a heavy day of work (while still sick, yes), I have to take the time to check out three lists: who won the Oscars, who wore the best outfits, and who wore the worst. The winners are the first and easiest to check out. On Saturday I posted a list of who I felt should win in some of the categories, so now let me compare the Wikipedia list of who actually won to my predictions. Hmm...

The predictions I got correct are as follows:

• Best Actress: Jennifer Lawrence
• Best Supporting Actor: Christoph Waltz (Yay!)
• Best Supporting Actress: Anne Hathaway
• Best Writing Original Screenplay: Django Unchained
• Best Animated Short Film: Paperman

 Well, five wins isn't so bad, and I really feel that all five of these deserved wins, especially Christoph Waltz and Jennifer Lawrence. As for discussing the red carpet outfits, that will come soon in another post.

XOXO
Gossip Ghoul.